Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Randomize
