Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
