You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Randomize
