Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
