I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Randomize
