I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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