He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Help. Why am I so naked?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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