i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
i used baking grease as lip gloss
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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