pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Randomize
