his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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