i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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