East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
It's Friday. Sex?
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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