i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
if i died would you start the facebook group?
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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