This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize