i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
