can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Randomize
