You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
