I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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