You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
this beer tastes like vomit already
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
