halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
