Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
