"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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