it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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