if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
