carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
