didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Randomize
