Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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