69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
