Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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