in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
