he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
