I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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