I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
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He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
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I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize