So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
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