fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
