Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
