we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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