i was born a porn star she said
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
last night I used snow as a chaser
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
