So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
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