she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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