okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
