just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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