i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
