how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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