Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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