sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize