Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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