You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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