The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
