he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
