It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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