I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
she peed on how many people?
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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