what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Randomize
