he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
