I accidentally burped into my bong.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
it was like eating out sand paper
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
