As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
