the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I just found puke in my bra..
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
