This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
