Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
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