My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
