Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
