I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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