I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
