I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
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