just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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