If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
