Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
