I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
