wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Randomize
