you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
